Seeing the world through Lyric

It has almost been 7 months since Lyric was diagnosed with Autism. This past year has been the hardest of my life but also the most amazing. Being a single mom to a wonderful boy with extra needs has not been easy but I wouldn't change it for the world. We have marched down a very scary road together but we are both better than ever. That little boy is my whole world and my hero.

Romans 5:1-5
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

That passage has helped me through so many rough nights this past year. My pillow has felt many tears. As I'm brushing off the dust I am seeing so much hope. I am proud of the mother I am today and happy I have walked through the storm that was my life in pieces. At the beginning of this journey with Lyric I was very overwhelmed and my emotions were linked to the ending of my marriage. So during that time when Lyric would have an "episode" I completely felt defeated and at meltdown stage, but I didn't have the luxury of falling apart. Not knowing the cause of this change in my son was also very defeating at a mom. I knew parenting was hard and even single parenting but it just felt more difficult than I had ever imagined it would. The path to his diagnosis was had some of the hardest days I will ever face. Finding out my son was on the spectrum while hard also gave me a sense of relief. There was a reason and now we could move in a forward direction.

My only option when I was completely broken was to call upon the Lord and truly give my life away to him in a way I had never done before. As the Lord helped me through the emotions of my divorce I am able to see clearer than before and find joy in my situation. Just because this life throws curveballs doesn't mean we cannot be happy and smile. Hardships shape who we are and define our character.

Lyric is by far the most amazing and special boy. I am so blessed that the Lord trusted me with such a gift. His smile and giggles could make any dark day glow with light. When someone takes the time to go into Lyric's world they are forever changed. His life is paved with greatness and I am just so thankful I get to be his mommy. He is a kid that truly feels joy and love. He might now show it the way another kid does but when you watch him closely you can see so much more than you ever thought you could.

Autism is of course something I didn't ever fathom when I got the news I was having a baby, but either way I truly received the kid of my dreams. I whole heartily believe Lyric is my reason for existing. Being is mom is my greatest dream come true and what I was made to do. He has taught me to keep moving through the darkness cause every cloud runs out of rain. He showed me that joy comes in the smallest of things but can fulfill the depths of your soul you didn't even know where empty.

I have so much excitement and hope in this coming year with my little man. He will be starting an amazing special preschool on the 17th! My baby is going to be going to SCHOOL! I've been at my new job for a month now and couldn't be happier. Working outside the home has been a great thing for both Lyric and I. Although I am thankful that I was able to work from home since his birth to almost 3 it was time for mommy to branch out. I have been able to get out of the home and Lyric has started day care. We were both a little codependent. LOL

SO to end this long rant...Jesus has carried us through a rough time only to have the light shin brighter than we ever thought possible.

Blessed beyond measure.

One year ago....

I reflect today on how a year can change dramatically. I felt as I start a new blog to begin a fresh start my first post would be how I cam to this moment in my life.

One year ago today on March 1 2013 I was at the courthouse in California filing paperwork to end my marriage. It was the truly one of the hardest days of my life. It had been an 11 month battle to safe a sinking ship and I just had to let go. We we a few month shy of celebrating only 3 years of marriage. So to say I felt like a failure is an understatement. 

I fought hard to save our family but when only one person is trying you just run in circles. I spent many of night on my knees praying to our Lord to guide me through the storm. At the end of the day there is only so much you can do to help an addict and if they don't want it you have to protect yourself and your child. That is the point I came to and had to do the one thing I thought would never happen. Trust me I knew marriage would be tough and I waited till 28 to even take that step, so of course I thought I had seen everything and knew how to make a marriage work...but I was wrong.

So on this day a year ago my world changed. I began my journey into being a divorcee and single mom. My ex had been pretty distant and in and out of the home since April of 2012 but now it was official and he was not welcome back. 

The next few months were kind of a blur of finishing up school, caring for a crazy little amazing boy and figuring out my next step in life. I was surround by so much love with family and friends that allowed me to feel empowered. During the summer of 2013 Lyric was diagnosed with autism (more about that later) and I made the decision to relocate to Texas to be closer to my mom and dad. 

So it has been a year since I filed for divorce, exactly six months since Lyric and I moved to Texas, and tomorrow will be six months since my divorce was final. 

BUT

Tomorrow is also my 32nd birthday and this year will be one for the books. Lyric and I are doing amazing! We have a wonderful life filled with lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles and giggles. My new job that I have been at for a month is wonderful and such a blessing. 

So to end this post I am with a grateful heart tonight...For the Lord has been with me so much as my heart has been heavy and he carried me through. His grace is enough. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 says: But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my powers made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.